This is so strange.. this.. feeling... Like if there was a hole inside me. I've got a lump in my throat, my body is hurting.. it makes me so sick. This last year was definitly gloomy without you in my back, no more help from you, no more smile, no more words, never more.I still have feelings but they're nonsense, because you're life is over. Yep, you're dead my beloved, and so what can I do? Nothing... nothing except thinking about you and our great and bad times together. Sometimes I feel like it is just a dream, like a fabulous mistake in my thought and I imagine you telling me that it's time to sleep and that I'm going to school tomorrow...
Why don't we ear the sound of your steps on the floor, with your so peculiar shoes? Why aren't you there with me?
All my life I tried to make you proud of me and I can't find something that could make me happier than you telling me "good, well done" or "you're kind".. But I'm so egoist.. Everytime I'd like to ask you some advices, to tell you things that happened to me. Then since one year, I'm going nowhere.. I act like a child and hurt people, I'm so scared of life that I try to live in a perpetual dream, where you're just in a holiday and that you'll get back some day. Useless isn't it? But when I'm sad, I smile, for you.
